I had a friend recently email me and say that he enjoyed the
newsletter and reading about our progress, but he often wondered how things
really worked out, how they looked on the ground, in the community of Christ
that we are working in. That is a good question, if more than a little
difficult to answer, but it is a very appropriate question as we review the
last year and get ready for 2013. How are things REALLY going?
This last year has been hard, and messy, and well…life. We
have made big transitions, learned a lot about ourselves, and started many new
things (Liz would probably say I have tried to start too many new things). As
we have returned to Tanzania with new roles, new jobs, and a new family we have
experienced that things are different and we have had to adjust to our new
everything. In this adjustment I, at least, have grown distant to our first
call and the thing that brought us all this distance in the first place. I have
found myself being less patient with my family, the community I live in, and
even the people I am called here to serve. My sense of service has diminished
and my sense of entitlement (shouldn’t I be recognized for all we are doing)
has grown. Yet this inward focus is not the type of love we originally came
here for. We came because of love for others, love for the community we hoped
to experience, and love for a God that calls us to follow Him with our actions
and put him and others before our own desires for the comforts of this world. In
the midst of all of the good and bad, smooth and rough happenings in our lives
lately, this one most important thing may!?! have been lost.
However, this realization, this stop and think peek of a
wonderance, has also lead to many good discussions about our new year and our
goals for 2013. We have both agreed that this love for others and for God needs
to be renewed in our lives. That this original and sustaining call in our lives
needs to go back at the top of the list of considerations when we look at our
schedule, our plans, our lifestyle, and any new projects we look at this year.
We have become good at looking at our resources, our time, and the ability of
those around us to carry out plans and projects. In doing all of that though we
may have lost in the shuffle, the biggest question we should be asking, “Can we
do it with love?” This may seem like a sappy or overly Christian question, but
it is the difference between starting a program and actually helping others; it
is the difference between working with someone and being in community with
them; it is the difference between burnout and sustainable ministry in what can
at times be a hard place.
Our prayer for 2013 goes something like this…
Lord, I repent of the times in the last year that I have failed to show
your love, even through a kind work or greeting.
I pray for your help in this coming year, to focus on loving your children
and your creation. When this becomes hard or starts to interfere with my life,
help me to not draw back from the task of love, but to change my life to be
more consistent with your will for it.
Amen.
Please pray with me.
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