Choices

It has been a while since I have written anything in this space. Partly I have been busy and partly I have been a little overwhelmed with where life has taken me in the last little while. Pick which ever excuse you like or make one up. I hope that I am back to writing more often and again sharing this life we have chosen in Tanzania with all of you. Appropriately than, the first blog up expresses maybe some of how I feel and why it has been a while since I put something up here for public consumption.

Choices

There are choices that we make and there are choices that make us.

I chose to be involve in people’s lives

I never chose to help bury more people under 25 than over.

I chose to volunteer in Tanzania

I never chose long bus rides, hard roads, and harder souls.

I chose to follow my hear, my passion, and my God over my head and my 5 year plan

I never chose hardship or for my family to share my challenges.

I chose to adopt the most precious child I have ever connected with

I did not chose protracted court processes, high financial costs, and emotional lows from a lack of access to my own hear family.

I chose to open my heart and my eyes to the reality of the world

I never chose to be surrounded by more hard choices, more real fear, more raw emotion than I ever experienced in my blessed childhood.

I chose people over things.

I never chose to know about drug abuse and police interrogation techniques.

I chose to be a resources for others

I never chose to be continually frustrated by a lack of resources for some of the most important area of life.

Yet there are choices that you make and there are choices that make you. And in the end, the only thing that makes sense when you accept that they are all you and you are made up of all of them. Life becomes both harder and more acceptable, making it both easier to breath and much, much more difficult. And it helps you from running…knowing that all of this is now you and disowning isn’t possible and won’t help, but owning it may, some how, in some small way make hope for someone else, which than in turn, even when you didn’t choose it, is really what you were hoping for all along.